The Wizard of Oddz
by Twilight Goddess Sage
Summary: The Wizard of Oz only with Azumanga Characters and some wackyness...Join Chiyochan, Mr. Tadakichi, and Sakaki as they go around the Land of Oddz, as they go to find the Ruby City, meeting up with significant others...should be quite random and funny!


The Wizard of Oddz

By: Twilight Goddess Sage

Chapter 1: Foreshadowing the Insanity

It had been another regular day at the Azumanga gang's high school. The students in Miss Yukari's homeroom were now cleaning up their classroom before they all headed home.

"La-la-la-la-laaaah, sweeping up the dirt, incase somebody slips and falls so they don't get crumbs on their shirt," Chiyo-chan sang as she swept all the crumbs on the floor into a nice neat pile.

"Whaaaat? CRUMBS! WHERE?" Miss Yukari yelled dashing over to where Chiyo-chan was sweeping.

"Oooooo!" Tomo crooned rushing over towards them. She then bent down and sniffed the crumbs, "…It seems someone had a muffin…mmm…muffins…"

"A MUFFIN!" Miss Yukari's eyes became crossed.

"Eep!" Chiyo-chan squeaked, knowing that her teacher was going to go nuts, "You don't like muffins…um…Miss Yukari?"

"WHY! WHY! WHY WOULD SOMEONE BE SO WICKED AS TO BRING A MUFFIN INTO MY CLASSROOM, EAT IT, SPILL CRUMBS ON THE FLOOR, AND NOT BOTHER TO SHARE IT WITH MEEEEE!" Miss Yukari ranted in a loud obnoxious screech.

"Uh…maybe it was a tiny muffin…or…it was a nasty flavored muffin…not worth your while…" Tomo suggested, attempting to calm her teacher down, "Don't worry about it, Yukari-Baby!"

"Moron, don't say anything! You'll make her worse!" Yomi muttered to her, "Let's just go—"

"AND JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!" Miss Yukari shouted suddenly brandishing a sweeping broom.

If Tomo had any sense (or apparent brains) in her head, you'd think maybe she would have shut up, especially after seeing the iron grip on the brandished broom. However as we all would expect, Tomo would not be swayed to silence, even by an enraged broom-armed teacher…

"Well Yukari-baby, we're going to go help Miss Kurosawa clean the gym locker rooms and stuff, it's quite a tough job, being a gym teacher and such—"

Yomi nearly fainted due to Tomo's choice of excuse, but instead just dropped her head, "You brainless idiot! Miss Kurosawa has her own homeroom…"

"Oh come on Yomi, have a heart for poor Miss Kurosawa, she's probably tired from running around all day, not to mention blowing that whistle—"

"SILENCE! ALL OF YOU WILL REMAIN HERE UNTIL THE UNGRATEFUL LITTLE WELP ADMITS THEMSELVES, CLEANS UP THEIR MESS, AND MAKES ME EVEN MORE MUFFINS!" Miss Yukari snarled to everyone, who in turn stopped what they were doing and stared meekly at her, dreading the remainder of the time until they were released, or so they hoped.

Well nearly everyone except a certain sleeping student slumped over in a corner without a care in the world. However, that bliss would not last long…

Like a tiger, Miss Yukari pounced onto the unsuspecting student, snarling nastily in her ear, "WAKE UP MUFFIN SNOOZER!"

Osaka opened up her eyes, awakening not to little Chiyo with shiny red pigtails, but a scary teacher with a face that could frighten little furry animals. "EEEEK! AIEEE! ETC. I WANNA SEE MAH GRANDMA!" the terrified Osakan cried out in fear.

"Her grandma, not her mother?" Yomi commented sweatdropping.

"Etc? Who would screech out that while in fear?" Kaorin added shaking her head, also sweatdropping.

"It's probably an Osakan thing!" Tomo chortled.

"Is that how you see it?" Yomi asked turning around to Tomo, "Or that idea due to the absence of a brain!"

Osaka got up off the ground in one quick leap and bolted towards the classroom door in an attempt to escape. At that point, the door opened and Osaka slowed down screeching to a halt as Miss Kurosawa stepped into the room. Miss Kurosawa and Osaka blinked at one another for a few minutes in silence.

Then came Miss Yukari, mad as ever, "NO ESCAPE FOR YOU, MY PRETTY!" she screeched.

Osaka then came back to reality and 'eep'ed as she jumped onto Miss Kurosawa, "SAVE MEH! SAVE MEH!" she cried.

"Oh Osaka, quit being such a scardy-cat…" Kagura said shaking her head. At that moment, Sakaki perked up when she heard the word 'cat' and came up to join the group.

Miss Kurosawa yelped at being jumped on and started to protest, but then she saw Miss Yukari's ugly face glaring at her with a look that could sour milk, and instead confronted her.

"…Yukari, what are you doing! Why are you playing the wicked witch!"

"Y'know, she does kind of remind me of the Wicked Witch of the West…" Yomi remarked.

"Yeah…I guess so, no that you mention it," Kaorin agreed.

"Now if only a house would fall on her…" Tomo muttered.

"But Tomo, she's our teacher!" Chiyo-chan cried, waving her arms around.

"Besides…wasn't that the Wicked Witch of the East…?" Sakaki said.

Kagura shrugged, "I don't know!"

Suddenly everyone heard a loud barking and turned towards the windows to see a big fluffy yellow dog.

"Mister Tadakichi!" Chiyo-chan shouted somewhat surprised.

Sakaki went over to the window and opened it up, looking down at him, "Yep, that's Chiyo-chan's dog…Hello Mister Tadakichi!"

"Chiyo-chan, waz your dog doing here?" Kagura asked.

"Thuh dwag haz come tah save us!" cried out in delight.

"LET THAT ANIMAL IN AND I'LL STRANGLE HIM!" snarled Miss Yukari.

"EEK!" Chiyo-chan squealed and dashed out of the door to her dog as Sakaki volted out of the window to the unsuspecting dog. "Don't worry Mister Tadakichi, she won't hurt you!" Chiyo-chan cried hugging her dog as he wagged his tail.

"Whoa!" Kagura said dumbfounded, "What a leap!"

"Yeeeaaah! Go Sakaki!" Kaorin chirped happily.

"Sakaki is one thing…" Yomi exclaimed.

"I've never seen Chiyo sprint so fast!" Miss Kurosawa added in awe, "I think that's a personal best!"

"Yeah…" Tomo agreed.

"COME BACK HERE SHRIMP!" Miss Yukari screeched running towards the window in her berserk rage.

Sakaki whirled around, "Uh-oh…!"

It was then that the ground shook and everyone 'eep'ed and either jumped, fell down or froze.

"EARTHQUAKE!" Tomo yelped, "EVERYONE GET UNDER THE DEEESKS!"

"Wha-what'll we d-do?" Chiyo-chan stammered scared to death.

"Uh…" Sakaki mumbled latching onto Mister Tadakichi who started barking, "I don't know…" then a light bulb flashed in her head, "Head for the gym locker rooms!"

Chiyo-chan nodded, and the two started running until they got into the girls' locker rooms, where they unexpectedly found Mister Kimura.

"Whaaaaaah?" Sakaki shrieked starting to shake all over.

"M-Mister Kimura, wh-what are you doing in the g-girls' gym locker room?" Chiyo-chan squeaked almost horrified of his answer.

Mister Kimura looked around and then at them, "Well…I was on my way to the pool to visit the swim club, when I felt a shake and I wound up here…Hey wait! I didn't know you two were in the club! I wanna see you in your suits!"

"Ugh!" Sakaki moaned hugging Mister Tadakichi, making him bark.

"Woof! Woof! Woooooof!" he barked in confusion.

"Hey! Dogs aren't allowed in the school!" Mister Kimura shouted frowning.

"B-but he can swim pretty well. Th-that's okay r-right?" Chiyo-chan stammered, "Besides, he's my doggie, and I couldn't leave him out in the quake…" she added putting on her cutest most innocent pleading puppy-dog face. It was so adorable, that Sakaki couldn't help but 'awwww' at it.

"Well…okay…although a swimming dog isn't even half as hot as a swimming high school girl…" Mister Kimura remarked much to Chiyo-chan and Sakaki's disgust. Mister Tadakichi however, didn't seem to mind, so he began prowling around the locker room sniffing the girls' lockers.

_Who gives a darn about swimming when there's an earthquake going on…?_ Sakaki thought to herself, _I hope all the puppies and kitties are safe… _

"So how is Miss Yukari these days?" Mister Kimura asked the girls, "She was so pretty way back when…and she still is when she's not speaking…"

Chiyo-chan and Sakaki blinked, looked at one another, turned back and blinked again.

"Ur…she's okay…for the most part…" began Sakaki.

"Although, she's been witchy lately…" Chiyo-chan added.

"So maybe…she's not as okay…as…she could be," Sakaki said.

Mister Kimura raised an eyebrow, and then suddenly took a thinking pose, and started to nearly imitate Sigmund Froyd (1) with his next line, "So tell me about this problem…"

Chiyo-chan and Sakaki sweatdropped, while Mister Tadakichi barked. Chiyo-chan finally said, "Well Mister Kimura, Miss Yukari is screaming really loud, her eyes are crossed, and she seems more violent then usual. Do you have any suggestions?"

Mister Kimura thought for a while, then he finally replied, "A ha! Miss Yukari has—"

(Dramatic suspense music)

"—PMS!" (drum beat) Sakaki fell down anime style, while Chiyo-chan looked like she had no clue what Mister Kimura said (TGS: Well, she never had health class or anything in elementary school, heh heh! In case there are any boys reading this, you guys won't need to understand what the letters stand for until you grow up and are raising daughters…catch my drift?)

Suddenly the earth shook underneath of them and the wind began to howl. Mister Tadakichi growled at the sounds.

"OOOOH N-NOOOO!" Chiyo-chan cried, jumping onto Sakaki who caught her in her arms, "A-are w-we g-gonna die?"

"I CAN'T DIE!" Mister Kimura shouted, making the girls look over at him stunned by his confidence, "I've always paid my alms, my taxes, charity funds, been good to mein ancestors, and I have so much left to teach my students, to learn from life, to love mein wife and daughter! I CAN'T DIE, NOT NOOOOOW!"

He then ran out of the girls' locker room as the earth shook, and the wind and Mister Tadakichi howled in a duet. Chiyo-chan and Sakaki huddled together on the ground wondering what would happen next.

Sigmund Froyd is a very famous psychologist, I would know because my mom is one, and she has a bobble-head of him in one of her offices. It's funny looking.

Now for some Randomness from our goddess/ authoress and her friends

Sage: "Ah, Azumanga Daioh! How I love this series!"

Ruzaka (sweatdrops): "Obviously, since you took this time to write and post this fic…"

Chibisage: "Sage-chan, you forgot the disclaimer! The Bakas that run may charge you with crap again!

Sage (shudders): "Ah yes, that's right! Allow me to unlist some help in that!"

(Ryu-kun enters the place with Miyu who is sugar high)

Ryu-kun (tests the microphone and speaks): "Yo readers! Waz up! (pause) Okay, okay cut the yo-talk. My friend, Sage, as obsessed with anime as she is, does not own Azumanga Daioh! But she did come up with us outside characters; hence you probably don't recognize our names."

Miyu (all fired up): "WAHOOOO! SUE HER AND EXPLODE! KABOOOM!"

Ryu-kun (sweatdrops): "Um, yeah, that's right…So like peace and much random chaos for you all!"

Sage (smiles): "Yep, that's right! Oh and to all of you who have read this, please review, and stay tuned for Chapter 2!"

Chibisage: "Bye-bye!" (waves)


End file.
